Log:Hooman Lessons

2020/08/13 Wade Artemis 1

After a vigorous battle session and training, Artemis steps out of the workout room. There's a simulated pile of robot wreckage glimpsed past her before the room resets to its normal defaults. Artemis looks invigorated.

Wade apparently was up in the main gym area, using the weights. He smiles and waves to Artemis as he spots her. "Hey there."

Artemis smiles brightly as she spots Wade. "Friend Wade!" she booms with her usual enthusiasm, getting some looks. But hearing the Senator's son's name has them looking for who she's calling to. She leaps over a few machines to span the distance to Wade. Guided by her ability to fly, the leap looks graceful, and she slows in her descent to float to a stop as she lands by him. "How are you, my Friend? My thoughts had turned to you the other evening," she smiles and stands akimbo, hands on her hips.

Wade stands and wipes down the machine he was using. He smiles, "Oh? What caused you to think about me?"

Artemis's smile grows at that. "Well, aside from your fighting prowess and good form," she starts boldly and honestly, "I was pondering upon my failures to pass as hooman. As you are often to point this out, divine inspiration struck!"

"So, I would like to proposition you." She smiles even more and pauses so she can ask in formal, humble tones, "I entreat you, Friend Wade. Will you teach me more of how to behave more hoomanly?"

Wade suppresses a laugh at the 'proposition' statement, but he smiles. "Umm...sure, I can try to teach you."

Wade chuckles. "I thought I was already effectively doing that, though."

Artemis smiles, unaware of his amusement at her straight forwardness. "You are, and most effective indeed!" Although all evidence of Artemis being a good pupil point to the contrary. "And yet I still cannot easily pass as hooman in...most situations."

Wade steps away from the machine he was using, to let someoen else use it. He moves over toward the side of the room. "You said yourself...you look human. But you don't really talk like one. You are...way more...open and forthright than most humans are."

"Yes, hoomans are a deceptive species. Though you are the exception, Friend Wade," Artemis is sure to clarify he is excluded from her statement. "If...that is my failing, my trouble lies in not being able to speak a lie. Perhaps...perhaps I cannot truly fit in amongst your kind," she supposes. Her lips turn down and brows knit faintly in disappointment.

Wade smiles. "No, that's not it. You can choose to not speak. That will help, until you learn more idioms that are common on Earth. Not lying isn't an issue. There are people like that on Earth.

Hope returns to Artemis' eyes. "Aye, I suppose I could choose silence. Would that not seem strange though?"

Wade shrugs. "It might. But it wouldn't give you away as an alien, either."

Artemis purses her lips as she tries to think on that. "Then...they would think me merely a rude hooman?" she expresses her thoughts.

Wade shrugs, "Or that you're mute. That means you can't talk."

Artemis rubs her chin and looks confused yet intrigued. "Pretend my tongue hath been cut out? I....suppose I could attempt that."

Wade chuckles. "There have been some pop culture people like that. It's pretty rare, but memorable."

Artemis opens her mouth to ask something on that, but catches herself. She closes her mouth and just smiles, already practicing.

Wade grins. "Both were comedian types. One was a magician. A guy named 'Teller', who worked with a guy named 'Penn'. The other was one of the Marx brothers. They made a bunch of movies...a long, long time ago. I'm not exactly sure how long ago. Over a hundred years ago at least."

Artemis nods at the mention of a long time ago. She looks like she's already ready to burst, but she manages to keep quiet.

Wade looks amused at Artemis's attempts to remain quiet. "You know, you don't have to start now."

Artemis opens her mouth to speak again, then catches her self and smiles. She raises a finger and wags it at him for trying to trick her. This must be a test! And she shall rise to the challenge!

Wade chuckles. "I'm serious. You don't have to start now. I was thinking you might only do it when you're explicitly trying to keep a low profile. You're not trying to do that around me."

Artemis squints faintly and suspiciously for a moment, still thinking it a test. Then finally, she says, "Very well. I wish not to play you false, my Friend."

Wade smiles and leans against the wall. "Whatever you do, you jump in with both feet. That's kind of endearing. Do you ever do anything tentatively? Anything at all?"

"Hah! You charge in fearlessly as well, Friend Wade. A quality I admire," Artemis smiles. When put to the question, she purses her lips and has to think on that. "Anything...? Hmmm." She rubs her chin and has to think on that. "There has never seemed a point to do things in half measures. Perhaps there is something."

Wade smiles, "If there is, I haven't seen it. That's why I asked."

Artemis thinks more on the matter. "I have tried to exercise consideration for battle within the city, and sometimes am...hesitant in wondering if I am doing well on that. Especially when I see Urth Guardians doing what I had tried to avoid."

Artemis smiles and becomes the one who asks the Questions. "What of you, Friend Wade? Are there things you do tentatively?"

Wade smiles. "Showing restraint in causing property damage is a good thing, Artemis." He then nods. "There are. And if you haven't noticed them, I've covered them up well." He gives her a wink.